Everyone has their specialty...

...mine happens to be guacamole! Many people don't think they like guacamole and/or avocados, but my guacamole tends to be a crowd pleaser, even for those who don't think they will like it. A lot of guac recipes tell you to smash the avocado and add mayonnaise to make it creamy. I don't subscribe to the idea that guacamole should be the consistency of baby food. Rather, I like mine chunky with all fresh ingredients!

Gather 3 ripe avocados*

1 medium red tomato

1 clove of garlic

top of bunch of cilantro (about 2 Tbsp)

1/2 lime

1 jalapeño

1/2 small onion (large onion pictured above, only part used)

*I wanted to discuss how to choose a ripe avo. The sticker says that they are ripe when soft, which is true, there is a very particular soft that you want to look for.

1. Avo should have some give, but overall flesh should be firm. Think about how a ripe peach feels. You don't want it to be hard, but too soft isn't good either.

2. The best place to test for softness is at the top (the skinnier end). If you think the avo may be overripe, this is the first place it will start going smooshy. If it is overripe the skin at the top tends to go dry.

3. The color of the skin isn't a good indicator because there are so many varieties of avocado, it is hard to describe coloring for all of them.

Since the guacamole is going to be chunky, I recommend a rough chop for the tomato, but a fine chop for the red onion. You don't want to get a mouth full of onion! Similarly, you don't want the jalapeño or garlic to be over powering. Mince the jalapeño and garlic, along with the cilantro.

Put all of these ingredients into a large bowl and set aside. Avocados will turn brown if left out in the air for too long. Because of this, add the avocados no more than 20 minutes before serving.

Here is my method for cutting an avocado.

1. Stick knife into avo lengthwise until you reach the pit. Rotate the avocado so you have a cut around the entire avo, constantly keeping the knife on the pit.

2. Twist the two halves in opposite directions and pull apart. You will end up with two halves, one of which will have the pit.

3. Put the half with the pit in your hand and let the weight of the knife force itself into the pit. You might have to provide some of the force. The knife should stick into the pit. Use the knife to rotate the pit until it comes out. Gently remove the pit from the knife by pinching the top of the pit. It should drop off of the knife.

4. Again, hold one half in the palm of your hand. Gently run the knife through the avocado, touching the skin, but not cutting through it. Make a checker board pattern.

5. Squeeze the avocado into the bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Continue until all three avocados are used.

Salt, pepper, and lime juice are used to taste. I usually use a little less than the full half of lime with a couple pinches of salt and pepper.

Mix together and enjoy! On the Border and Green Mountain Gringo are my favorite tortilla chips. Don't use Tostitos...they are too salty and won't do this recipe justice.

Going Crazy

So, for about the past two weeks I have been contemplating the question, "Do you know that you are going crazy before the point of no return?" Like, is there a gray area between the time that you recognize and feel like yourself, and when your family and friends commit you to a hospital? There has been a series of examples of losing myself and my habits and realizing that I'm not sure if I can get them back, or if I really want to.

The main example is that I am having a hard time sleeping. This is completely unlike me because I can usually sleep for 10 hours every night and want a nap in the afternoon. For most of my life, once I fell asleep I did't wake up, not even to use the bathroom. But lately, I have had a hard time falling asleep. If I do, I don't stay asleep. I have been opting to get up and clean the house rather than lay in bed, waiting to fall asleep. This has made me absolutely crazy because without sleep I don't feel like I'm thinking clearly. And I have a constant headache, which makes me crazy, too.

There are other things like: I have completely rearranged the pictures in our house; I have no desire to work outside in our yard and the flower beds are atrocious (but I don't care); I haven't been making dinner or caring to have food in the house; and I have been creating arbitrary deadlines for getting things done and giving myself anxiety.

So, again, these actions and thoughts that don't usually describe my personality are making me wonder if I will ever be the same again. I think I will, and I think I have the solution.

I have heard stories on NPR and seen in movies how someone with mental health issues would go through an intervention, go on medicine and realize how great "real life" was, and they would be happy...for a while. Since things were great, they think that they don't need the medicine anymore. At first they are fine, but it seems like overnight they are back to being crazy and need another intervention.

I believe that this cycle is very real. Luckily, I have not needed an intervention during my life, or have been so out of my mind that others have decided I needed help. But I did recognize it for myself a couple years ago. My anxiety was taking over and I knew that I needed to do something for myself, so I started taking medicine.

So my solution to me feeling like I'm going crazy is to take my Happy Pill and start feeling like myself again. It took a while for me to recognize this as a possible cause for my problems, but it makes complete sense to me know.

I don't want to depend on medicine, but this is what it takes for me to recognize and feel like myself, I am willing to do it.

**Hope this wasn't too much information. Blogs are just as much for yourself as they are for the readers, right?**

Hen Weekend

This weekend I went to Chicago for my friend Hanna's Hen Weekend. I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to go, but I'm very glad that I did. Hanna is one of my Chi Omega sisters from Hanover whom I graduated with in 2003. I happened to be the only college friend who was able to make it for the weekend, which made it even more special for me to be there and celebrate with her :)

For those of you who know my driving preferences, you know that 1. I am directionally challenged and 2. I am more a rider rather than a driver. Because of these two things, I was very proud that I had accepted the invitation to drive myself up to Chicago. With Hanna's great directions and my impressive skills for following them, my drive up was joyfully uneventful.

Hanna's apartment/condo (I'm not sure what to call it since it is a unit inside a shared building that she owns with her fiance.) is everything that you would want in a Chicago home. The neighborhood is walking distance from the water and has local shops and restaurants that makes city life appealing. With community gardens and open invitations to backyard BBQs, they definitely live in a community where people care about their neighborhood and the people who live there.

Inside, Hanna has created a very comfy, inviting space where you feel right at home. Her ability to collect antiques and unique items and put them together is enviable. She is very creative and has a style that is all her own. Being around her, I hope her artistic skills rub-off on me!

We celebrated her wedding by having a Bridal Tea in the afternoon. Her sisters, Jessica and Emily, hosted the affair which they pulled off seamlessly. Everything from the food to the outdoor seating created a space where we could enjoy each other's company and celebrate Hanna's wedding. A few of my Chi Omega sisters went in with me on a gift for Hanna. We got her a indoor wall pouch to plant flowers in. The plants cascade over the side and create a "living wall" indoors. Very cool if I do say so myself! Also, for a more intimate present, we gave her a nightgown that can be worn throughout the house. She was very appreciative for both gifts.

I had known Jessica and Emily from their visits during college. It was nice to see them, and their mother PJ again. Also, Hanna's best friend from childhood, Erin, was at the shower, too. It was good to catch up with her. Congrats Erin on your baby! Hanna's upstairs and downstairs neighbors were at the shower, too, as were a few of her workmates. It was great to see that they appreciate Hanna as much as her XO sisters do!

Later on in the evening we went to dinner and a show ;) Our XO sisters have a tradition of signing and wearing a Bachelorette sash throughout our special evening. The sash started with Brandi and has lasted 7 years and now, including Hanna, 12 brides! Pam will be the last of us to wear the sash!

We ate at Carnivale, which is a Latin American/Spanish fusion restaurant with amazing atmosphere. It was certainly the place to be! I can confidently recommend their Empanadas de Maiz :) After dinner we went to the The Baton Club to see the Ladies perform. Through a network of friends, Hanna's upstairs neighbor got us GREAT seats to the show. The women were beautiful and I realized that femininity can be worn well by anyone. I was quite jealous of their stage presence and, of course, their bodies! I decided that if I were to have a gay son, I would take him there and encourage him to be proud of himself, however he chose to live his life! These girls had it goin' on!

Overall, it was a great weekend that made me appreciate Hanna for being a unique woman who has created a great life with her fiance! Congratulations to Hanna and Nate!

To Bid or Not to Bid

In my last post I stated that I was going to venture into the world of Ebay to get my new, used sewing machine. I found a few that I am interested in through the brand recommendations of a friend's mother who knows a lot about sewing. Her mother has even gone so far as to offer to look at the machines I am interested in to give me input specifically on those :)

The dilemma I am having currently is not on the value, be it monetary, durability and/or specifications, rather it is how to go about bidding. I started bidding on Tuesday evening and have been going back and forth with one person, I'm assuming, since then. My strategy for bidding started out as making a high bid, about $10.00 higher than the other person so I wouldn't have to go back and forth for a couple dollars each time. The strategy of the other bidder is exactly what I don't want to do. Each time "she" bids, it's just a couple bucks. This has become very frustrating for me.

There are still two days left in the auction and I can't stop thinking about whether or not I have been outbid by a couple bucks! I have gone so far as to download the Ebay App on my phone, so I get an alert as soon as I am outbid. When I get my notification I start to get anxious and want to post my bid right away, but I don't want to seem desperate. I try to play it cool and wait so 1. The other person can't smell my desperation, and 2. I don't want to have to keep bidding. I figure, if I wait until there is on 10 minutes left on the bid, I can get in a last minute effort and bypass all of the back and forth that increases bids. This seems like a very good strategy. Holding out until the end seems like a good plan, until my anxiety takes over and I am forced to grapple for a couple dollars! Ahhh! Any suggestions?

Fabric Lover

One of my true loves is going to secondhand shops. During the summer I pass the hours browsing through consignment shops, Goodwill, and antique stores. This love of used items compliments my philosophy of the Three R's, and the hunt for a great deal :)

Today a good friend of mine and I went to Gilley's Antique Mall in Plainfield, IN. We spent the entire morning enjoying each other's company while hunting for nothing in particular. When I shop, especially in antique stores, I touch those things I am interested in. This serves a number of purposes, including sussing out the quality of items.

While we were shopping my friend, Sarah, says to me, "You are a fabric lover!" She noticed that I had been picking up all kinds of fabric and oooohing and awwwwing over them. I have never really thought of myself as a lover of fabrics, but after she said that, I had to agree. I am a Fabric Lover!

In years past I have been borrowing sewing machines from various family members with the intention of eventually buying one for myself . A couple years ago it was supposed to be a birthday present, then a Christmas gift, but I haven't gotten around to purchasing one yet.

But, upon being labeled as a Fabric Lover I feel it is my duty to get my own sewing machine. Sarah and I had visions of me using these beloved fabrics to make handbags, fabric napkins, pieces of art...the possibilities are endless.

So I am announcing myself as a Fabric Lover and soon-to-be owner of a sewing machine. I have so say, hours of browsing on Ebay is going to have to join my list of ways to buy secondhand items, because they have a ton of good deals on sewing machines!

MacBook Anyone?

So I'm at the Apple store at Keystone Mall and within 10 minutes I'm hooked on the MacBook. I can't help myself, but I imagine that with a MacBook my cool factor will increase exponentially!! I think I deserve a "just because you are awesome" present :)

My Coming Out

My friends have pressured me into creating a blog. I'm not sure what I have to say, but they are convinced that I have an interesting life. They reminded me that I am the only surviving marriage of 2005 as well as a world traveler. So, here I am. Join our blog party!