Would you do things differently next time?

Lately I have asked myself, If I was 20 again, would I choose a different life partner than my husband? Are there things that aren't included in my life currently that would make me feel more fulfilled? If we are honest with ourselves, this is something most (if not all) committed people think about.

My husband, Schuyler, and I have always worked from the understanding that there is more than one person in the world who could make each of us happy. If one of us were to pass away or things didn't work out between us, each of us would expect that we could find someone else to make to a happy life with.

Since I've been married, I have seen friends in the 'dating scene' and have been grateful for the fact that I've already found someone to share my life with. I don't have to worry about what I look like at the gym, or look super cute everywhere I go in anticipation of meeting someone. But the past couple weeks I have wondered what kind of fun I am missing in the dating scene.

Being hit on when you are married can be very awkward. I feel like I have to throw it out there right away that I'm married, so that I don't give off the wrong impression. But what if I didn't say that I was married first off, and carried on the conversation like I was available and interested in meeting someone? Since I haven't met someone new in a long time, it's kind of thrilling to think about.

I wonder about what my type would be (dark skinned with an accent? ;). What kinds of things would I like to do on a date? What kind of woman am I? Would I kiss on the first date? Would I ask him back to my place to spend the night? When I was dating Schuyler, I really didn't think about these things. I didn't have a dating identity figured out. I just did what felt right, which is probably what I would do today if I were single.

Thinking about dating again seems silly, given the fact that I am very happy in my marriage. Of course, there are always kinks to work out, but the big stuff, we agree on. And the little stuff, we are willing to compromise on. I think that's the most important. Finding someone who is on the same page that I am would be pretty difficult I think, one element that I wouldn't look forward to.

As far as the thrill of meeting someone new, I think it will come and go. Keeping a marriage fresh and engaging is probably the hardest part. Staying interested in one person is a challenge, but one that I am willing to take on and have been successful at for 5 years.

I get excited when I know Schuyler is about to come home from work. Seeing him coaching and having others look to him as an authority figure is sexy. Lying next to him I feel safe and secure, with all of my insecurities. For this, I think I love my husband the most.

So, I'm certainly not saying that I'm scouting out the gym to see who I can drop my towel next to, because honestly, if I had to do over again, I would say that my type is a fit guy, just a little taller than me. Curly dark hair, balding a little is ok ;) He has to be interested in travelling overseas and drinking wine. Good conversation and valuing my ideas are a must. Not too much PDA, but willing to put his arm around me and give me a kiss on the cheek is wanted. Overall, has to be ambitious and allow me to be the same. Most importantly, he has to be a cat person :)

Love you, Sky <3